I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this surgery, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I mean this is the sort of thing that demands a great deal of thought. At least, it should. But I’ve been thinking about the process as a whole and how I expect to be changed by it.

I obviously expect to lose weight. But there’s more to it than that for me. I’m also hoping to develop more normal, healthy eating patterns. But I’ve been wondering how all this will change me as a person. I’m not expecting to be the same person I am now, but I’m hoping that any changes that come are for the better. I hope that what my friends like about me remains but what I don’t like about myself will driven away.

I’m assuming that my body image issues will improve after I’ve lost weight, so I can only wonder whether the qualities I associate as being inherently me will also be lost, because they might be connected to those issues that plague me now. Will I still be the same quiet, asocial introvert that prefers to keep to the shadows while she observes the world. Will having a new body make me more comfortable in putting myself out there?

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