I had my intake appointment today with the nurse coordinator for the bariatric center I plan to have my surgery with. Some further appointments were made, including one with my surgeon on November 30th. It seems like both a long way off and scarily soon at the same time. All of these preparations are just cementing in my head the fact that I really am doing this and I can’t help but feel excited, anxious, and afraid.

I’m looking forward to living without so much extra weight, but there’s also the fear that goes along with having surgery (as this will be my first) along with the fear of failure afterwards. Whoever thinks WLS is the easy way out is obviously off their rocker. There is so much involved in making sure to maintain the dietary plans established for you after surgery as well as making the necessary adjustments to life with a much smaller stomach. I’m not gonna lie; I’ve always tended towards laziness. But I know if I want to be successful at this I’m going to have to put in the effort.

But first I need to start making changes with my relationship with food. Tonight I drove all the way to NJ to go to a restaurant I used to frequent. There was a particularly item I had been craving recently and it was pretty much a way for me to say good-bye to it. I think changing the way I react and respond to food will be one of the most challenging aspects of this new life. It’s hard when you’ve relied on something so much for pretty much all of your life to fill a variety of roles such as boredom reliever, stress release, comfort giver, and celebrant. I’ll need to find new ways to accommodate those needs. I only hope I can do so.