So what’s my story? Well, I’ve been a “big girl” all my life. Some of my earliest memories involve my family members calling me gordita. As a result I became extremely self-conscious and ashamed of my body and developed an unhealthy relationship with food. The older I got, the more weight I put on. The only time I was ever remotely successful in losing weight was when I was a student and barely eating while running myself ragged with exercise. I don’t want to have to live my life like that though, especially if it’s not really getting me anywhere. And it’s easy to become complacent about your eating habits when changing them doesn’t lead to results. Struggling with disordered eating habits certainly didn’t help any.

As my weight steadily crept up towards 300 lbs, I knew I had to do something about it. This past August was a turning point for me. Up until that point, I had never considered weight loss surgery as an option for myself. Instead, I tried to learn to be content with my size. I’m a supporter and believer of Health at Every Size and size acceptance, but being honest with myself made me realize that my issues with food (involving binge and emotional eating) were just too much to overcome long-term on my own or with a therapist and I could never really be comfortable in this body as it is. In August 2010, I got a new job and new insurance, and I discovered my new plan covered WLS. Suddenly the option was right in front of me, and the more I thought about it, the more it just seemed to make sense for me. I was presented with the opportunity to make a dramatic change that would hopefully help me get my life and health on track.

Although I have generally considered myself pretty healthy for the most part, a visit with my surgeon informed me that I am prediabetes (with diabetes running in my family), have gallstones, and a fatty liver. I can only imagine how my health will continue to deteriorate if I remain at this weight. And that’s assuming it stops going up, which I doubt.

So that’s basically where I am today. I had originally planned on getting the VSG, but another insurance change has made that impossible, so now it looks like the DS is to be in my future. I have my apprehensions about the surgery, but from what I’ve read, it may actually end up being better for my and my situation than the VSG would have. Only time will tell.

As far as who I am in general, I’m in my early thirties with a B.S. in biology and will soon have a M.S. in Regulatory Affairs (I work in the pharmaceutical industry). I have two dogs that I love as though they were my children and take a while to warm up to people. I’m pretty shy, and don’t really say much, but I’m a great listener if anyone ever needs support. I love music and reading and other geeky/nerdy pursuits.

If you’d like to connect with me on Obesity Help, you can find me as Hitorikiri. If you’d like to get more familiar with the random thought processes that take place in my brain unrelated to WLS, you can find me on Livejournal, Twitter, and Facebook.